Long Time No See
… or should I say hear? Last post was October? Shame on me. I tend to go crazy with internet stuff - constantly on and writing or keeping up, then get burned out and disappear for awhile.
Yeah… I’ve been MIA.
I went a little crazy end of December. Adding two classes to my already crazy schedule took its toll on me and I gave up all communication with friends and family and became a hermit. I have to work my tail off for good grades. Never been graced with good study habits or the memory to retain too much new information. I spent a lot of time studying and working on projects and the Christmas season sort of slipped away this year. The tree didn’t go up until less than a week before Christmas, presents were wrapped on Christmas Eve and Chad did 99% of the shopping. Cards didn’t go out this year, and on Christmas Eve I remember feeling a bit of a panic - “Oh my gosh - it’s here - it’s here!”
The worse part was selfishly letting myself be too wrapped up in everything going on to truly celebrate what Christmas is about. Not presents, Christmas Trees, getting the right gift for loved ones or sending cards because that is what you do during the holiday. I didn’t reflect enough on the fact that Christmas represents our precious Savior’s birthday. I did of course think about it often. But didn’t let it sink into my heart and live and celebrate that joy. This was the biggest regret I have of my 2008 Christmas. I know He understands and forgives, but I tend to be hardest on myself and want to smack myself.
My health hadn’t been the best in 2008. I don’t like having to report this. I want to be a ray of sunshine to friends and family, but it is what it is. I guess I still need to learn that I need to care for myself better and be more aggressive in maintaining a less stressful schedule to keep myself strong and sane. This summer I did get my medication for my Thyroid increased and am finally feeling better. I can exercise without being exhausted afterward and getting the flu-like aches and weakness. My stamina has been increasing. It’s taken 6 months to build that up. Right now I’m in the worse shape of my life and it drives me crazy. I need a strong body to go with my child-like heart and am determined to be there again. So often I reminisce about how I used to enjoy a challenging workout and feel rejuvinated afterward and want that so again so badly.
The great thing about new years is that you get the impression that you get to start over. Never mind the fact that the turn to January 1 is just another day and not really a big change. But man, it sure does feel that way. For the pessimistic person I am, I feel optimistic and aggressive in taking control of things and making the best of the new year.
Hope this finds you and yours well … :)
